What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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