Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
