dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
