I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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