is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
