I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
