Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
