It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
