The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
