It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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