I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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