nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
