Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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