Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
