was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
