she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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