Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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