i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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