Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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