HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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