I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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