I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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