Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
