Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
