Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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