The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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