I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
