we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
