a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize