Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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