Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
