She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
