please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
