My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
