You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
