Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
