Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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