I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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