i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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