Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
