Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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