It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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