So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
