the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
