Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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