is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You have to summon your inner elephant
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
