my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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