i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
