I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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