yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
